Coupling Connection - Dr. Jenn Oikle
Coupling Connection - Dr. Jenn Oikle

Welcome to RelationSmarts!

A Dating, Mating and Relating E-Newsletter

February 14, 2007

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Tips and Tools for an Extraordinary Relationship

Happy Valentine's Day!

Every other week, we'll be delivering smart and fresh relating tips. We know you are busy, so let these quick ideas inspire you to create your ideal relationship! Each edition will include helpful information in these three categories:

  • Dating - tips on finding and keeping the perfect partner
  • Mating - take the Passion Perks challenge and perk up your love life!
  • Relating - tips on making your connection Extraordinary

Be sure to scroll down and check out news of note and announcements for singles and couples! We'll be keeping you abreast of relationship happenings you may find useful.

Does an article strike a chord or remind you of a friend's situation? Please pass Relation Smarts on! Everyone deserves to have more love in their life!

RelationTip: Remember, information is only good if you USE it. Research shows that if you don't use a new piece of information within two weeks, you won't ever use it! So if you want an extraordinary relationship, try something new today!


Couldn't make last month's FREE Date Smart Coaching Call?

No worries, it's recorded.

Don't miss the Transformative Tree of Love Exercise!

Learn more here: Date Smart. This call will be available for replay until our next free call on February 26, Soulmate Secret Keys. To listen, call the Playback Number any time: (641) 985-5000, Access Code: 597680#


Dating: Did You Miss "Dump Your Significant Jerk Week?"

Are you involved in a dating relationship that you know isn't quite right for you, but still, you hang on? Then last week was for you! The purpose of Dump Your Significant Jerk Week is to help you open your eyes, clearly assess your situation, and give you the push you need to move on! If a relationship hasn’t been satisfying for a while and nothing is changing, it’s time to face the facts that this isn’t the right partner for you. By letting go and moving on, you are actually creating space for real love to enter your life. Until you do, Mr. or Ms. Right will only be a fantasy.

How do you know if it's time to break it off and start with a clean slate? While it might seem complicated, really, it's not. It all comes down to two simple questions: Is this person treating me the way I want to be treated for the rest of my life? And how do I feel with this person in my life? The answers to both questions should be very positive- because the right relationship will feel good the 95% of the time and your partner should be meeting your needs. If that’s not happening, it’s time to let go.

Action Step: It's not too late! If you are involved with the wrong partner- dig deep and find the courage to move on. After all, wouldn't that be the best Valentine's Day gift of all? A new beginning! That way, by the time Valentine's Day 2008 rolls around- you have the chance to celebrate a very different kind of gift: your perfect partner.

Relation Tip: Want to make sure you aren't stuck with the same problem next year? Coupling Connection's Soulmate or Stalemate workshop at Colorado Free University is designed to empower you to identify the patterns that keep you from creating the love you deserve and learn to build new habits that will attract the perfect partner. Enroll for next date: Sunday March 18th, 2:30pm, Denver

In the news: Dr. Jenn appeared on Denver's Channel 7 ABC morning news last week to talk about Dump Your Significant Jerk Week and how her workshop can help singles finally break free from the patterns of the past. A downloadable video link will be available soon!


Mating: Getting to YES!

Jump Start Your Woman's Desire with the

Three Keys to Connection

Part One: Mind

Ever wonder where your woman's desire disappeared to? Well, it's an often forgotten fact that women NEED to feel connected BEFORE they become interested in sex. So, if you'd like to boost your women's libido- your job is to meet her needs for three types of connection: body, heart, and mind. She needs to feel connected with you on all three levels on a consistent basis before you'll find her "in the mood."

This week, we'll focus on the mind and in future editions, we'll cover heart, and body. In connecting with her mind, your woman want three things:
1. To Be Known
- So ask questions: what happened today, what do you think about X, what's your opinion on Y? Bonus points for asking about something she told you would happen that day. Extra bonus points for asking how she felt.

2. To Know You
- So tell about yourself. Share your thoughts about the day, things that happened, what you saw, or heard about. Bonus for telling your feelings about what happened. Remember, for most women, nothing is too small a detail to share.

3. To Know You Are Thinking of Her
- So stay in contact and do thoughtful things
. Email or call once a day or more, just to connect and say hi. Send her a link about something important to her. Bring her home something that lets her know you were thinking of her. Call on the way home and ask if she needs anything. Do something to help her out.

Passion Perks Challenge: Work on connecting with your women's mind this week! Try things you don't normally do and add more of the things you already do. Think about the things that would be most meaningful to her as an individual and implement them.

Next week: Getting to Yes- Connecting with the Heart

Passion is important to the continued vitality of your relationship! That's why Dr. Jenn is available to come to your men's group (business, church, organization) to give a talk on Getting to Yes! Email for more info.


Relating: What Your Man REALLY Wants for Valentine's Day

So much attention gets paid to what women want for Valentine's Day...but let's not forget about the other part of the twosome. Valentine's Day is a vital chance to show your man that you know what's important to him too! And what's the most powerful way to express your undying affection in a way any man would appreciate? Reignite your Inner Vixen! Yup, that's right. It's probably been awhile since he's seen that sexy lass he fell in love with...and chance's are, he really misses that sassy, sensual side of you. And nothing would make his love burn brighter this holiday, then YOU taking the reins and surprising him with a sexy romp that he's not likely to forget any time soon.

Not only will this escapade feel great for you both physically, but it has many wonderful side effects, including boosting your bond. When you pursue him- you are reaffirming his manhood and reassuring him that you find him irresistible- a gift he will be grateful for. Plus, it allows you to feel powerfully attractive and desirable. And it reminds you both why you are lucky to have chosen each other!

Action Step: Pull out all the stops and surprise him with the Vixen inside of you! Tease him early by sending a flirty email or voicemail before he comes home. Surprise him when he enters the door and finds you barely dressed in a sexy outfit. And continue to stay in charge as you orchestrate an evening filled with pleasures for him.

Relation Tip: You might be surprised to realize that when you meet your man's need in this intimate way, he'll be more willing to help meet your needs- outside the bedroom!

After the honeymoon phase of a relationship, with kids, careers, and stress, women often lose touch with their inner vixen. Dr. Jenn is available to come speak to your women's group about reigniting your inner vixen! Learn how bringing out your passion can suddenly turn your man into Prince Charming: talking more, taking out the garbage, and putting the kids to bed! Email for more info!




Still need something to do in Denver on Valentine's Day?

Single in the City Parties at all 3 Purple Martini Locations Tonight!

Learn more:


The Soulmate Revolution 2007!

Are you serious about finding a life partner? Then join Coupling Connection and other like-minded singles in *NEW* fun, effective, and life changing programs designed to make 2007 the year you find your soulmate! Now is the time! The relationship you've been waiting for IS out there. Are you ready???

There's a program or service for every stage of dating and budget: Soulmate Revolution


"Socializing for Professionals"

At the Glenmoor Country Club (singles 38 & over) will meet on the second Thursday of the month - March 8th, 2007, from 5:30 to 9:45.

Hosted by Marty Pickert of Call 303-649-9125 for more information, or email


Denver Valentine Treasure Hunt- Singles Edition

Don't have a date for Valentine's Day? No problem! Do something cool and unusual AND meet other singles while you have fun! Learn more here: Singles Treasure Hunt




Power Up Your Valentine's Day

Imago is one of the most powerful couples workshops and therapies ever! And their institute plans special V-day celebrations all over the country to help you connect more powerfully with your partner this year. Inexpensive, fun, and short so you can still have your romantic evening. Find a "Keep It Real" event near you:


Powerful Short Cuts To Connection

Staring January 2007, Coupling Connection is offering personalized, small group programs for couples who are ready to ignite their love and keep the passion alive. Focused on shortcuts to real connection for busy couples- get a group of your friends together and support each other in building a lifetime of love! More info coming soon!


* Have you tried a tip or tool from the Relation Smarts E-newsletter? We want to hear about it!? Let us know what your experience was like. Did it improve your connection? Or no? Email us! *

Do you have a topic, idea, question, or concern you'd like to have addressed in an upcoming newsletter? Email us!

Know someone who could use a little RelationSmarts? Feel free to forward the newsletter to family and friends!

May your relationships bring you the happiness you deserve,

Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D.


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