Coupling Connection - Dr. Jenn Oikle
Coupling Connection - Dr. Jenn Oikle

Welcome to DateSmart!
Tips and Tools to Help Singles Date Smarter, Not Harder

Helping you find "Happily Ever After"

December 19, 2007



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Article of the Week

The VisionShift Method of Searching For Your Soulmate

Part 2: Harnessing the Amazing Power of Your Mind
in 3 Simple Steps

Last time we talked about how three things are Standing Between You and Your Soulmate: Your attitudes, emotions, and actions. Since they are always linked, it's important to get a good grasp on at least one of them if you really want to change your love life! Change one and soon, they will all change.

That's where the VisionShift comes in.

We started with a focus on the attitudes which are holding you back, and if you didn't create your statement of intention for attracting love next year- do so now! That's step one.

To refresh your memory, here are the steps:

1. Create your Inspiring Intention for the future.
2. Create a powerful visualization which will help you feel your intention.
3. Create a habit of feeling your Intention with practice of the visualization.
4. Create an action plan to get you there and follow through.

Now for steps 2-3: create your powerful visualization to make your intention come alive by FEELING it in every cell of your body.

Most of you are probably familiar with the concept of visualization. This is conjuring up an image in your mind- usually about something that you want to experience success with.

Why does it work?

Research shows that visualization is powerful because the brain really doesn't know the difference between what you are thinking strongly about and what is real!!

Time and time again, studies have PROVEN that the body and mind respond almost identically to visualizing something, say taking a ski run, placing your hand in burning water, or eating chocolate, as it does when you actually DO any of those things. All of the same brain areas are activated, as well as all of the same brain and body chemicals that send messengers all over your body to activate different bodily systems, such as the muscles and hormones.

As far as your brain and body are concerned- what you are visualizing IS very real. You are creating patterns in the brain, muscles, and body systems that will make success more likely- that will draw success to you.

That is why top performers in all areas make use of visualization. Everyone from Olympic athletes and stage performers to politicians ready to give big speeches, corporate executives, and even cancer patients.

The message: Your mind has the power to create reality.

To refuse to harness that power, is well, plain silly! But enough of my pep talk about why you should practice your visualization. And on to how.

Here's a secret that few people know about making visualization actually work for YOU. You see, you can think of images, even very specific images all day long- and they won't be all that helpful, until you add one more element.

The key to effective visualization is FEELING.

If you want to transform your life, you absolutely, positively MUST create the desired emotion with your visualization. Otherwise, please don't waste your time!

Step 2: How to create your successful soulmate
visualization in 3 simple steps

1. First come up with a compelling scenario of you and your soulmate enjoying each other. Say that you've already met, what experience are you looking forward to living together? What can't you wait to do? Different people will pick different scenarios, such as enjoying a stroll on the beach at sunset, snuggling on a ski lift, or dancing to your favorite love song. Use whatever event, experience, or situation is most powerful for you!

2. Next, create list of every detail you can think of for all 6 senses. It's critical to fill in this scene with as many details as possible to truly make your senses come alive- to feel this experience on a cellular level. So, take some notes.
What do you:
1. see (all around you, your partner, and yourself)
2. hear
3. touch (what do you feel on your skin, in your body)
4. taste (this can be the hardest one, but add something)
5. smell
6. feel (what are all of the emotions you will experience?)

3. Now, create a script for how the scene will unfold including all of the above senses. You can do one sense at a time, or weave them in together, whatever is easier for you to remember. Write this down. In the beginning you may need to refer to your notes, but quickly, you will memorize it and just be able to play the scene in your head, sometimes adding other elements.

In fact, maybe you will pick a favorite song to be the theme to this image and you can play it every time you practice it. This helps engrave the image in your memory even more powerfully.

Voila, now you have your perfect soulmate attracting visualization. But it can only help bring love into your life if you use it REPEATEDLY. Not just once or twice, or once a week- this has to be DAILY- even more if you are serious.

Step 3: Creating your Visualization Habit

So, now you are going to create a new ritual- a daily time or set of times that you will practice your visualization.

By now you've created a pretty detailed, comprehensive image- ideally this visualization will take you 20 minutes to engage in when you have the time. But even 3-5 minutes at a time will suffice! Don't make "I don't have time" an excuse. The beauty of this is that it is portable and can be done anywhere, anytime. Most people prefer to do it with the eyes closed, but you can even do it while driving.

One easy way to remember to practice is to pair your visualization with something you already do every day.

I suggest that you try it when you first awake in the morning to program your mind for a great day and right before bed, to help your subconscious work on creating this love for you while you sleep!

Or try adding any of these occasions to maximize your practice times: whenever you shower, whenever you drive, every time you are standing in a line, whenever you have to wait on hold on the phone, when you cook, etc.

Tips on Making your Visualization Work for You

Lastly, don't forget that the most important thing to focus on is creating the positive emotions! To do this, here are two tips.

- To help jump start the feeling for the image, begin by putting a half smile on your face, then then start your visualization. This simple act triggers the brain to feel happy.

- If you have trouble creating the feeling, pick something you experience frequently that always makes you feel happy or loved, maybe when your puppy is happy to see you come home, when your niece runs and jumps into your arms, or some other little but profound satisfaction. Get the emotion started by picturing this scenario first. Then once you've got the feeling firmly in place, begin your soulmate image.

Over time, the emotion will come easier and easier. So don't be dismayed if it's difficult at first. Just keep at it.

Action Step: Set a date by which you will have your visualization complete and ready to start using!

Tip: If you have trouble with creating the emotion or clearly using visualization, or just are really serious about finding The One, check out the Brain Sync CD's listed below- they will help you more easily create the perfect state of mind to attract your soulmate!

Up next time: Step 4- Create an action plan to follow through on your intention.


A Powerful Tool To Aid You In Your VisionShift
(or a fantastic Christmas gift!)


Most of us are terribly stuck in old patterns, running the same thoughts over and over like a broken record. We've run them so long, they've actually become like deep ruts in our brains and are more easily triggered than any new thought we try to have. That's why making a new habit takes so long and so much work. And why many of us give up before we are successful!

But I've found an exciting new tool that can help you create new habits in your brain, much more easily and effectively! I ran across these CD's accidentally at the library! And found them so powerful that I want you to know about them too!

They are powerful sound wave CD's from a company called BrainSync. On the CD's are sound wave patterns that put your brain into certain wave states, such as Delta, Theta, Beta, etc. In these states, your brain is better able to incorporate new thoughts and emotions, making the process of change mush easier. Some of the CD's also have guided meditations, and some have subliminal messages.

I've had several profound healing experiences listening to them. I've tried 3 so far and am getting ready to purchase more! They are even inexpensive, ranging from $10-$15.

I think it can really benefit you on your journey of finding your soulmate. Rest assured that I only ever recommend to you opportunities that I really feel can help you achieve your goals.

The CD's come in many topics so check them out today and see if there are ones that can help you work toward your dreams, more effectively and efficiently than ever more.

Visit BrainSync by clicking on the image below:


For all my singles, I recommend the Attract Love CD.

If you have health concerns, I highly recommend the Healing Meditation CD.

If you are being held back from achieving your goals, whatever they are, Fulfill Your Heart's Desire is an excellent one.

If you purchase one with only subliminal messages, like Attract Love, I suggest you also try one with a guided meditation, since I've found the spoken meditations to be very powerful!!

But whatever your concern, there is a program for you! Smoking, weight loss, sexuality, life purpose, self esteem, creativity, learning, concentration, etc. They would make an excellent holiday present or gift to yourself for helping you achieve everything you deserve this New Year.

Check them out today at the below image and get assistance on creating your own powerful VisionShift!



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May your relationships bring you the happiness you deserve,

Dr. Jenn

Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D.


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