Coupling Connection - Dr. Jenn Oikle
Coupling Connection - Dr. Jenn Oikle

Welcome to DateSmart!
Tips and Tools to Help Singles Date Smarter, Not Harder.

Helping you find "Happily Ever After"

November 29, 2007



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Article of the Week

Are You Missing That Holiday Glow?
Use the VisionShift to Start Searching For Your Soulmate

Ok, we are officially into the holiday season! How was your Thanksgiving? I hope you found many reasons to be thankful!

But for many singles, the holidays can be a bummer time of year. Especially if you fall into the trap of idealizing the holidays as the perfect time for sharing with that special someone. Even if you make it through Christmas, many can't face New Year's without The One to celebrate with.

Come on, admit it. We' ve all fallen into that trap at least once or twice.

But not you, not this year!

That's because we're starting our New Year's Resolutions NOW- with a VisionShift.

What's Standing Between You and Your Soulmate?

Really, only 3 things. Your attitudes, emotions, and actions. And one always leads to the next. Your attitude about something causes you to have a feeling, and your action is determined based on what you think and feel. They are always linked.

Let's focus on your attitudes and the emotions they cause. In the above scenario, you become depressed on New Year's because of some belief or attitude you have.

What belief is it for you?

It could be one of thousands of beliefs that are holding you back. Some examples:
I'll never find someone.
I'm getting too old, no one will want me.
All the men I meet are pigs.
I don't deserve real love.
Every woman I meet wants me for my money.
Every time I fall in love, it goes all wrong.
Fill in the blank with your favorite negative attitude.

Now, that belief causes you to feel some negative emotion. It could be anything: sadness, depression, irritation, resignation, frustration, hopelessness, helplessness. You get the idea. No fun, for sure.

And when you are thinking those things and feeling those emotions, I can guarantee you won't attract any quality prospects. In fact, those thoughts and feelings don't generate any quality actions either. You'll probably stay home, where you have zero chance of meeting The One.

But, even if you did go out, with your body sending out the language of negative attitudes and emotions, you will never, ever meet the right person. And you can't fake it either.

So what are you to do?

Right now, you are going to shift your perspective from the past, which maybe didn't work out so hot, to the future.

You'll do this by applying a VisionShift.

Here are the steps:

1. Create your Inspiring Intention for the future.
2. Create a powerful visualization which will help you feel your intention.
3. Create a habit of feeling your Intention with practice of the visualization.
4. Create an action plan to get you there and follow through.

By effectively following these steps, you will switch your focus from the perceived "failures" of the past, to the beautiful vision of what you are creating for your future, starting today.

The simple act of changing your focus, will change your attitude, your emotion, and your action- which will all lead you toward your goal of finding your soulmate.

Today, I'll say a bit about the first step and in following editions, we'll cover the rest- in time to have your mind whipped into soulmate shape for the New Year. (See below section for a attitude shifting tool.)

Action Step: Create your Inspiring Intention by writing a sentence or paragraph that describes what your ideal outcome is, in present tense language. Then print it out, and post it everywhere so you will see it several times each day. It becomes more powerful if you add an image to the words (find free pictures and clipart at Micro Soft Clip Art Online).

Ex. I have met a wonderful, amazing woman and we are creating the most beautiful love imaginable.

Ex. I have met such a caring, giving guy, and together we are living life to the fullest every day, laughing, loving, playing, and growing together.

You get the idea, now go write yours- whatever inspires you. Next time, we'll talk about how to round out the picture of this fulfilling love with a visualization that supports you toward finding real love.

Email me your Intention. By sharing it, you will feel more accountable to following through! I'd love to hear what your glorious intention for next year is!


A Powerful Tool To Aid You In Your VisionShift
(or a fantastic Christmas gift!)


Most of us are terribly stuck in old patterns, running the same thoughts over and over like a broken record. We've run them so long, they've actually become like deep ruts in our brains and are more easily triggered than any new thought we try to have. That's why making a new habit takes so long and so much work. And why many of us give up before we are successful!

But I've found an exciting new tool that can help you create new habits in your brain, much more easily and effectively! I ran across these CD's accidentally at the library! And found them so powerful that I want you to know about them too!

They are powerful sound wave CD's from a company called BrainSync. On the CD's are sound wave patterns that put your brain into certain wave states, such as Delta, Theta, Beta, etc. In these states, your brain is better able to incorporate new thoughts and emotions, making the process of change mush easier. Some of the CD's also have guided meditations, and some have subliminal messages.

I've had several profound healing experiences listening to them. I've tried 3 so far and am getting ready to purchase more! They are even inexpensive, ranging from $10-$15.

I think it can really benefit you on your journey of finding your soulmate. Rest assured that I only ever recommend to you opportunities that I really feel can help you achieve your goals.

The CD's come in many topics so check them out today and see if there are ones that can help you work toward your dreams, more effectively and efficiently than ever more.

Visit BrainSync by clicking on the image below:


For all my singles, I recommend the Attract Love CD.

If you have health concerns, I highly recommend the Healing Meditation CD.

If you are being held back from achieving your goals, whatever they are, Fulfill Your Heart's Desire is an excellent one.

If you purchase one with only subliminal messages, like Attract Love, I suggest you also try one with a guided meditation, since I've found the spoken meditations to be very powerful!!

But whatever your concern, there is a program for you! Smoking, weight loss, sexuality, life purpose, self esteem, creativity, learning, concentration, etc. They would make an excellent holiday present or gift to yourself for helping you achieve everything you deserve this New Year.

Check them out today at the below image and get assistance on creating your own powerful VisionShift!



Do you have a topic, idea, question, or concern you'd like to have addressed in an upcoming newsletter? Email us!

Know someone who could use a little RelationSmarts? Feel free to forward the newsletter to family and friends!

May your relationships bring you the happiness you deserve,

Dr. Jenn

Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D.


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