Coupling Connection - Dr. Jenn Oikle
Coupling Connection - Dr. Jenn Oikle

Welcome to DateSmart!
Tips and Tools to Help Singles Date Smarter, Not Harder.

Helping you find "Happily Ever After"

November 2, 2007



Stay Tuned for:

Read Dr. Jenn's advice
in the Best Tips for Couples by The Experts appearing in the December edition of Cosmo!

Discover fresh Stay at Home Date-Night Ideas
for early in the dating game in's Happen Magazine


Last Chance This Year!

Soulmate or Stalemate
Colorado Free University

Comments from last class:

"I thoroughly enjoyed your class and all of the hand-outs that you gave us. Your openness and willingness to share were most refreshing in someone leading such a group. Thank you very much for all of your help.
It was an absolute pleasure meeting you." - Lynn

Monday Nov 12th, 6:30pm
Learn more or enroll here



Article of the Week

Your Soulmate Success Mindset:
Staying Optimistic and Motivated with the SW X4 Strategy

One of the biggest complaints I hear from singles is this: "But I am getting so discouraged. I'm not getting anywhere. I feel like giving up!"

Hey- I hear you. I felt like that for a couple of years, until one day, I didn't. That's because I finally met The One.

But you don't have to wait until finding The One to stay optimistic, encouraged, enthusiastic, and hopeful. Lucky for you, all you have to do is switch your mindset from one of scarcity to one of success.

Jack Canfield, made famous by the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, has an acronym: SWSWSWSW. it stands for:

Some will. Some won’t. So what? Someone’s waiting.

Jack's principle was for entrepreneur's struggling to build a business. But this wise saying is a jewel for singles on the search for a soulmate.

When you adopt this as your new mindset, dating can become an adventure. It empowers you to seize the moment, take more chances, get out of your rut, and most of all keep on going!

In dating, some people will like you, some people won't. So what?
In dating, some events will have tons of potential suitors, some will have none. So what?
In dating, sometimes you'll be witty and charming, and sometimes you'll sound like a fool. So what?
In dating, some relationships will last, most will not. So what?

The important point here is that at the end of every supposed "failed" encounter, you've learned at least one important lesson (probably many more actually): This person isn't the one. That's GREAT. This means that someone who is The ONE is out there WAITING for you to find them.

So come on, what are you waiting for? Go out and do something, anything, to keep you moving towards your goal of creating a wonderful relationship with an amazing partner.

Email me! Share- what are you going to do this week to move closer to your goal?!

Action Step: Adopt this as your new mindset:
Some will. Some won’t. So what? Someone’s waiting.

Want other tips for shifting into a positive mindset to make your soulmate search successful? Check out these previous, related articles:

Broken Road
Gratitude Lesson Book
Tree of Love


Something to Consider

Another saying from Jack Canfield:

"Oh what the heck- go for it anyway"

You've got nothing to lose by trying. You like that blond you see every day at Starbucks? If you don't ask her out, you'll never get the date. If you do, you might. Might is certainly better than never. If not, who cares? You are no worse off.

Same holds true for most of life's situations and choices!




Highly Recommended Book

I just finished reading a book many of you may be interested in:
Feelings Buried Alive Never Die by Karol K. Truman.

It discusses how negative feelings that we do not release, many of which remain subconscious from our past, create powerful negative effects in our lives, including ill health, poor relationships, low self esteem, and financial hardship. If you struggle with any of these things- and who doesn't!- I highly recommend this book. It offers an interesting tool to help us release these emotions so that we can be happy and successful in all areas of our lives! In fact, if you have health concerns, I think you need this book!


Do you have a topic, idea, question, or concern you'd like to have addressed in an upcoming newsletter? Email us!

Know someone who could use a little RelationSmarts? Feel free to forward the newsletter to family and friends!

May your relationships bring you the happiness you deserve,

Dr. Jenn

Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D.


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