all of you have decided to make 2007 the year you fill your
life with love. Whether that means finding your soulmate,
or reinvigorating your current long term partnership, Relation
Smarts is here to help you do just that! So take the challenge
and accept nothing less than the love you deserve!
week, we'll be delivering smart and fresh relating
tips. We know you are busy, so let these quick ideas inspire
you to create your ideal relationship! Each edition will include
helpful information in these three categories:
- Dating - tips on finding and keeping the perfect
- Mating - take the Passion Perks challenge and
perk up your love life!
- Relating - tips on making your connection Extraordinary
Be sure to scroll down and
check out news of note and announcements for singles and couples!
We'll be keeping you abreast of relationship happenings
you may find useful.
Does an article strike a chord
or remind you of a friend's situation? Please pass Relation
Smarts on! Everyone deserves to have more love in their life!
Remember, information is only good if you USE it. Research
shows that if you don't use a new piece of information within
two weeks, you won't ever use it! So if you want an extraordinary
relationship, try something new today!
Soulmate Revolution 2007!
you serious about finding a life partner? Then join Coupling
Connection and other like-minded singles in *NEW* fun, effective,
and transformative programs designed to make 2007 the year
you find your soulmate! Now is the time! The relationship
you've been waiting for IS out
there. Are you ready???
a program or service for every stage of dating and budget:
Transformative Tree of Love
As the New Year is upon us, it’s
the perfect time to take stock of the past, clear the cobwebs,
and make space for the perfect partner to arrive in your life.
To help you accomplish this, I’m going to share
with you an analogy that I recently learned about. I call
it the Tree of Love and it’s made up of partners who
are either leaves, branches, or trunks. You see, when we review
our love lives, it becomes clear that the cast of characters
that have paraded through are one of these types.
Leaves are temporary partners who came for a season.
They arrived with a lesson and once it was learned, they departed.
Like leaves falling from the tree, these partners were never
meant to last. They served a purpose- helping shape us into
the person we are today. They may have provided shade or nourishment
for a time, but they were never designed to be sturdy, reliable,
or permanent parts of the tree.
And notice that the trees never lament the dropping
of the leaves. They gracefully let them go, thanking them
for the time they spent together, knowing
full well that new leaves will arrive when the time is right.
Then there are the branches- stronger than leaves,
and a more substantial part of the tree- yet still never meant
to support your full weight. These partners play a more meaningful
role in your life, perhaps staying longer and imparting more
lessons that shape your essential self. But even branches
can never play the part of the trunk and their time passes
Finally are the trunks- the main body of the tree,
with deep, strong roots that can withstand storms and long
droughts. Each of us will only be blessed with a small handful
of trunks in our entire lifetime. These partners are worthy
of building your life around. The commitment, love, respect,
communication, and trust you share are enough to sustain you
and fulfill you over the long haul.
comes when we confuse leaves and branches for trunks,
which we do with startlingly regularity. But as we are dating,
we would do well to picture a tree and remember the facts:
MOST of what we see when we look at a tree are the leaves,
supoprted by a FEW branches, attached to only ONE trunk. This
means that the vast majority of people that come into your
life will be leaves. And that’s ok. That’s great
really. Because this is what nature intends. You need to fill
your tree with all those leaves (lessons) of wisdom before
you’ll be ready to grow a strong trunk.
So, every time a budding relationship ends, it is
helpful to remember that “everything is as it should
be.” After all, 99% of the time, it is meant to end.
Only once or twice will it be a partner worthy of a lifetime
Action Step: Don’t
confuse leaves and branches with trunks. Learn to differentiate
them and learn to mourn their leaving accordingly and gracefully.
As the year begins, use this time to do some mental clearing.
Go through your entire relationship history and classify your
partners (leaf, branch, trunk), clarify your roles, and their
lessons. Thank them for making you who you are today. Integrate
this type of classification into your Gratitude Lesson book
which we discussed in the previous newsletter.
Serious about making room to attract The One? Then join us
on Tuesday January 30th at 7:30.
During this FREE Date Smart call I'll be leading a powerful
visualization exercise based on the Tree of Love. Feel what
it can be like when you shed your baggage and truly become
open to finding the perfect partner! Learn more: http://www.couplingconnection.com/datesmart.htm.
It's the new year-
so it's time to try some new positions. It's way too easy
to get stuck doing the same old thing, in the same old place.
But blah and boring won't bring out the spice in you.
Passion Perks Challenge:
Run out and grab the January edition of Cosmopolitan magazine-
they have an article with lots of ideas to inspire you. They've
done the dirty work for you, now you can just have fun!
Ever come home really excited about something you
accomplished that day, only to have your partner give it a
barely noticeable ho-hum? Took the wind right out of your
sails didn't it? That's because celebrating together is a
powerful way to connect. Not only does it strengthen your
bond, but having your partner recognize and acknowledge your
success also boosts your sense of self. It feels great to
have our partner mirror back to us how worthy we are!
In fact, new research shows that how we celebrate
together is even more important than how we handle troubles!
A study found that how your partner reacts to your victories,
both small and large, was the strongest predictor of the strength
of the relationship.
Action Step: Realize
that your response to your partner's positive news has a very
powerful impact. Be sure to offer your full attention and
heartfelt support and praise when your partner shares the
"wins" in life.
Relation Tip: Have something
great to share? To be sure you get the reaction you need,
pick a good time when your partner isn't tired, distracted,
or down himself. Then, if needed, preface it by stating what
you'd like, "Harry, I'm so excited about today. I want
to celebrate it with you. At work..."
At the Glenmoor Country Club (singles
38 & over) will meet on the second Thursday of the month
- January 11, February 8, and March 8th, 2007, from 5:30 to
$15.00 at the door (cash,check) includes
DJ dancing, hors d'oeuvres, networking table, door prizes,
free parking (car-pooling a plus), business/dressy attire,
a coat or tie for the gentlemen, (NO JEANS allowed at the
Club), plus a cash bar ($5.00 well and well).
Hosted by Marty Pickert of www.partiesbymarty.com.
Call 303-649-9125 for more information, or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Short Cuts To Connection
Staring January 2007, Coupling Connection
is offering personalized, small group programs for couples
who are ready to ignite their love and keep the passion alive.
Focused on shortcuts to real connection for busy couples-
get a group of your friends together and support each other
in building a lifetime of love! More info coming soon!
* Have you tried a tip or tool
from the Relation Smarts E-newsletter? We want to hear about
it!? Let us know what your experience was like. Did it improve
your connection? Or no?
Email us! *
Do you have a
topic, idea, question, or concern you'd like to have addressed
in an upcoming newsletter? Email
Know someone who could use a little RelationSmarts?
Feel free to forward the newsletter to family and friends!
May your relationships bring you the happiness you
Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D.
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