all of you have decided to make 2007 the year you fill your
life with love. Whether that means finding your soulmate,
or reinvigorating your current long term partnership, Relation
Smarts is here to help you do just that! So take the challenge
and accept nothing less than the love you deserve!
week, we'll be delivering smart and fresh relating
tips. We know you are busy, so let these quick ideas inspire
you to create your ideal relationship! Each edition will include
helpful information in these three categories:
- Dating - tips on finding and keeping the perfect
- Mating - take the Passion Perks challenge and
perk up your love life!
- Relating - tips on making your connection Extraordinary
Be sure to scroll down and
check out news of note and announcements for singles and couples!
We'll be keeping you abreast of relationship happenings
you may find useful.
Does an article strike a chord
or remind you of a friend's situation? Please pass Relation
Smarts on! Everyone deserves to have more love in their life!
Remember, information is only good if you USE it. Research
shows that if you don't use a new piece of information within
two weeks, you won't ever use it! So if you want an extraordinary
relationship, try something new today!
Miss This Month's FREE Date Smart Coaching Call*
us Tomorrow, Tuesday Jan 30th, 7:30 pm for the Transformative
Tree of Love Exercise!
Let go of the past, prepare for the future, attract
your perfect partner!! Feel what it
can be like when you shed your baggage and truly become open
to finding your soulmate!
Learn more here. To participate
at 7:30 pm Mountain time, call: 712-580-6300, access code,
for 12th annual
Your Significant Jerk" Week!
Keep getting stuck in dead-end relationships?
Know you deserve more, but keep winding up with less? Learn
what's keeping you stuck and the secrets to breaking the patterns
to find real love. Join us Feb 5th at Colorado Free University
Keys To Finding Your Perfect Partner-
Importance of Intention
I know, I know. You are sick of hearing about the
tired old new year's resolution....those ones for finding
more health, happiness, skinniness, and love this year. But
here's the thing. Without a clear intention, with concrete
steps to reach your goal....finding a soulmate is about as
likely to happen as losing that 15 pounds you promised again.
But...you think you shouldn't have to WORK at finding
love, that love should find you. And believe me, it's my wish
for every one of you that the perfect partner would fall from
the sky and you'd live happily ever after.
Actually- that ALMOST happened to me. I moved to
colorado. After a month I joined match.com, after a mere few
weeks, I met Greg and bam...the rest of it all fell into place.
Prince falling from the sky....hardly ever happens. But that's
only if you don't count the
previous 2 years worth of match.com dates in New York complete
with 6 failed romances, on top of the prior 5 years of coupled
disaster, and the 4 year dead end relationship before that!
Ok, on second thought, my perfect prince did not
fall from the sky...I had a long, arduous journey on my way
to him. AND, the final step to finding him...was an action
I took (joining match.com) toward a clearly
defined goal (finding true love), with a very specific
outcome in mind- a healthy, happy, lasting relationship
with a fantastic partner.
And it was only possible because
1) I knew what I wanted, 2) I had the courage to go in search
of it, 3) I persisted in the face of repeated failure, and
4) I had learned the necessary lessons along the way to be
ready to have the mature love I had envisioned.
So, you can HOPE to find your
true love in the frozen food aisle, OR you can make a commitment
to give yourself the gift you deserve: a healthy, loving relationship
with a partner who adores you.
Action Step: If you
are seriously ready to build the love you deserve, the very
first step is to commit yourself to a firm intention. Using
whatever words ring deeply true in you, create an intention
about finding true love. Something like: Within
a year, I will meet a fabulous partner and create a beautiful
life filled with love. Or whatever works for you.
Relation Tip: Now, to
make this intention memorable and more powerful, take the
next step. On your computer, make a page with your statement,
then find a poignant picture to incorporate (this step is
key....you can find loads of free images on Microsoft
clip art online), print up several copies, and post around
your house, office, etc. This will help keep your intention
on your mind, PLUS, it will help your unconscious work on
it for you too.
Relation Tip: If you
really want to be successful, tell everyone about your intention.
Putting it out there makes it more likely that you will follow
through. But for this step to be really effective- you need
to pick an accountability buddy- someone who you will share
your weekly plans with who will hold you accountable to what
you said you'd do. Or better yet- make this buddy another
single person and follow through on your actions together...both
join internet dating site, go to singles events together,
etc. Having a *positive* buddy will keep you on track when
the going gets tough.
You and a single friend really ready to make your intention
a reality? Check out the Soulmate Revolution's exciting 9
session Buddy Coaching system, Soulmate
Solutions. Don't have a single friend to join you? Check
out the six session Soulmate
Be a Tease Please
Nothing makes sex
more boring than the same old routine. And few things are
more arousing than playing with who's in control. It's erotic
for both partners when one person is in control while the
other partner lays back and enjoys the ride. So, this month,
try taking turns swapping roles. It's easiest to do when one
partner lightly ties the other's hands up so that they can't
cheat! Then the partner who's in control gets to slowly tease
the other person in whatever manner feels good (but please
respect each other's bounds). The combination of not being
in control and being teased makes for especially intense climaxes.
And the person in control often experiences heightened arousal
as well. Win win situation!
Passion Perks Challenge:
Give it a try in both roles!!
Valentine's Day Surprise, Part One: For Men
A recent Women's Day magazine survey showed that
the majority of women would prefer to get a love letter this
valentine's day- even over flowers, jewelry, chocolates, or
dinner. In response to this, a Denver radio DJ thought that
women were totally lying- that they couldn't possibly prefer
men to put pen to paper over opening up a fancy jewelry box.
But I believe it. Why? Because what's most important to many
women is knowing how deeply loved and cherished they are...and
many women complain that they don't feel that way enough.
Think about it....your wife is lying on her death bed...what
is she thinking, "Wow- that diamond necklace and earring
set he gave me for Valentine's day in 2007 was so beautiful"
or "I can still remember that love letter he wrote to
me...just one of the many ways I felt so loved all my life."
No contest here for most women: it's your open expression
of your loving thoughts and emotions that rule the day.
Action Step: So
men, get out your pen and paper and start writing. Want a
special touch- go buy some pretty paper to put it on. And
do hand write your note...computer
printed isn't nearly as personal or touching.
Relation Tip: Not sure
what to write? Be specific. Examples
of the things you love about her are more meaningful than
vague platitudes. Thank her for the things she does that make
you happy. Let her know the times you thought she looked beautiful.
Talk about memories of events or examples when you felt your
love very strongly...try to fill in the details...where were
you, what was going on, what did she wear, what did she do
that touched you...why as she the best choice you've ever
made? Need more help? Email me a draft of your note for suggestions!
Next edition: The Best Valentine's
day gift for the man in your life!
Soulmate Revolution 2007!
you serious about finding a life partner? Then join Coupling
Connection and other like-minded singles in *NEW* fun, effective,
and life changing programs designed to make 2007 the year
you find your soulmate! Now is the time! The relationship
you've been waiting for IS out
there. Are you ready???
a program or service for every stage of dating and budget:
At the Glenmoor Country Club (singles
38 & over) will meet on the second Thursday of the month
- February 8, and March 8th, 2007, from 5:30 to 9:45.
Hosted by Marty Pickert of www.partiesbymarty.com.
Call 303-649-9125 for more information, or email email@example.com.
Treasure Hunt- Singles Edition
Don't have a date for Valentine's Day? No problem!
Do something cool and unusual AND meet other singles while
you have fun! Learn more here: Singles
Power Up Your Valentine's
Imago is one of the most powerful
couples workshops and therapies ever! And their institute
plans special V-day celebrations all over the country to help
you connect more powerfully with your partner this year. Inexpensive,
fun, and short so you can still have your romantic evening.
Find a "Keep It Real" event near you: http://www.practiceimago.com/
Connect Without Words
Check out this new book by two of
the field's biggest players, Patricia Love, Ed.D. and Steven
How to Improve Your Marriage Without
Talking About It:
FINDING LOVE BEYOND WORDS
Featured in Feb edition of Oprah magazine!
Short Cuts To Connection
Staring January 2007, Coupling Connection
is offering personalized, small group programs for couples
who are ready to ignite their love and keep the passion alive.
Focused on shortcuts to real connection for busy couples-
get a group of your friends together and support each other
in building a lifetime of love! More info coming soon!
* Have you tried a tip or tool
from the Relation Smarts E-newsletter? We want to hear about
it!? Let us know what your experience was like. Did it improve
your connection? Or no?
Email us! *
Do you have a
topic, idea, question, or concern you'd like to have addressed
in an upcoming newsletter? Email
Know someone who could use a little RelationSmarts?
Feel free to forward the newsletter to family and friends!
May your relationships bring you the happiness you
Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D.
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