week, we'll be delivering smart and fresh relating
tips. We know you are busy, so let these quick ideas inspire
you to create your ideal relationship! Each edition will include
helpful information in these three categories:
- Dating – tips on finding and keeping the
- Mating – take the Passion Perks challenge
and perk up your love life!
- Relating – tips on making your connection
Be sure to scroll down and
check out news of note and announcements for singles and couples!
We'll be keeping you abreast of relationship happenings
you may find useful.
SINGLES! Lots of new exciting
opportunities for upcoming programs and events! Don't Miss
out!! See below for details...
Does an article strike a chord
or remind you of a friend's situation? Please pass Relation
Smarts on! Everyone deserves to have more love in their life!
Remember, information is only good if you USE it. Research
shows that if you don't use a new piece of information within
two weeks, you won't ever use it! So if you want an extraordinary
relationship, try something new today!
us TONIGHT! Co-Ed Savvy
Singles Book Club!
at Peaberry Coffee, I-25 and Colorado
You are Still Single
don't even need to read the book!
join or learn more visit: Sassy
Singles Book Club.
Deciding: A Dating Time Line
reality: The longer you date Mr./Ms. Wrong the farther away
you will be from Mr./Ms. Right. There is NO way around
this. This means that if you keep dating that Jerk(ette) you
have ZERO chance of landing your perfect partner.
of the biggest dating mistakes people make is staying too
long in relationships that are clearly heading nowhere. Most
of us get involved with someone new and just keep sliding
forward in the relationship, without making conscious
decisions. To avoid this, you have to get smart about choosing
your future, always keeping in mind this question,
"Is this the right person for me
to spend a lifetime with?" When
the answer is no, you've got to be prepared to move on.
To help you minimize wasted time, effort, and emotion,
I suggest the following dating timeline (for a typical dating
Is this a person you think has enough
potential that you want to explore them exclusively?
If yes, date only each other for awhile. If no, move on.
Months: Does this person have enough
compatibility with me that I can see a long term future with
them? If yes, date for three more months. If no, move on.
Months: Would spending my lifetime with
this person make me happy? If so, give it six more months
and reassess. If no, move on.
reviewing the status of your relationship and it's fit for
your future, you can avoid wasting too much time. The goal
for all of my clients is for them to get better and better
at being able to tell when it's time to walk away. Because
every moment spent with a Frog is more time away from your
Don't slide into your next relationship, consciously decide
every step of the way by continuously asking the question:
Is this the person for ME?
Having trouble deciding if
your partner is the right one for you? Coupling Connection
can help! Email
for more info.
We spend a lot of time talking about how lack of
closeness and connection demotes desire over the long haul.
But the opposite- being too comfy and cozy- can be equally
problematic. Everyone knows at least one couple who has remained
best friends, but somehow forgot to stay lovers. That's because
familiarity breeds comfort and security, but does little to
keep us tingling.
So what's the trick to regaining some of that excitement
with your cuddle buddy? Seeing your partner with fresh eyes.
Realize that no matter how long two people are together there
are always different aspects to explore about each other.
Some ideas to shed some new light on your partner
and turn up your desire:
- Go watch your partner in action doing "their
thing." Check them out during something you don't normally
see them doing, whether it's a hobby, sport, or role (giving
a speech to a group, coaching your son's tea, etc).
- Have date night with a group of people and enjoy
watching your partner interact with others
- Do a totally new activity together. One that neither
of you has tried before.
- Get a book of questions to help you pick each other's
brains on new topics.
Passion Perks Challenge:
This week, find a way to see your partner through a new set
Relation Tip: To learn more ideas about this topic
check out the book Mating In Captivity
by Esther Perel
"It's Not That Hard!"
As most of you know,
I spend a lot of time thinking about what makes some relationships
great while others are just mediocre. Here's one difference.
After my boyfriend and I had been dating a while, I was continually
amazed at how well he treated me so I asked him, "How
is it that you got to be so great?!" He said something
incredibly simple, "It's not that
hard. I just listen to you. And then I do the things that
you say make you happy." What a concept!
Here's an example.
Very early on in our courtship, the topic meandered over to
fabric softener. I remarked about how I love the smell of
Downey, but still recovering from my poor college student
days, I saw it as a luxury I couldn't afford. A few days later,
a jug of Downey arrived as a small token of his affection.
Just a $3 bottle of fabric softener- and it brought tears
to my eyes! Right then, I knew he was a keeper. Why? Because
he listens, and through his thoughtful actions, he shows his
loving, caring concern for me and my needs. And often,
that's all it takes folks- a bottle of Downey, a pint of your
partner's favorite ice cream, a call after an important meeting,
a little "thinking of you" email.
It's the small things
that keep love blossoming.
Action Step: What
small action, word, gesture, or gift could you give this week
to show your loved one that you listen to them and that their
needs matter to you?
What's keeping you from listening and doing the simple things
for your partner? Resentment, laziness, selfishness, backward
priorities? If you need assistance clearing these obstacles,
Coupling Connection can help!
Not getting the
response you were hoping for on Match.com? A reader recently
brought to my attention a problem with the way Match operates.
Apparently, Match.com will only deliver
emails to people who are paying members. Now here's the twist,
since anyone can have a profile up (without being a paying
member), you never know if the person you just wrote to will
even get your email. So when they don't reply- you'll don't
know if it is because they aren't interested, or because they
never got your email since they aren't a paying member! That
is a deceptive practice that is not in the best interest of
any member. The only way to change such practices is to let
Match.com know that you won't tolerate such policies. The
more angry members Match.com hears from, the better chance
they will change.
So make your voice
CONTACT: Ms. Jennifer Atkins
ADDRESS: P O Box 25304
Dallas, TX 75225
PHONE: 214 576-3236
FAX: 214 576-9470
Another avenue to attempt change is through the
Dallas Better Business Bureau. Here is the contact: email@example.com.
us for *FREE* Date Smart! Keys to Dating Smarter, Not Harder
the Needle In a Haystack- Using the Most Underutilized Key
For Meeting The One
Sept 25th, 7:30pm, Mountain Time, (9:30
Learn more here: Date
Love Along the Broken Road:
Revolutionary New Approach to Dating
October 19th, 6:30-9:30
Single again? Feeling like you’ll never find
love? Frustration and discouragement are high on the list
of single’s complaints. Come learn a revolutionary approach
to dating that will end your frustration, making your dating
journey into a successful adventure! Plus, discover the three
keys to avoiding the biggest dating mistakes that stand between
you and finding The One.
If you are serious about creating the loving relationship
you deserve, this is information you cannot afford to miss!
Cost of workshop: $15
per workshop for Cottonwood members, $20 per workshop for
Connection Office, 355 S. Teller St., Ste. #200 Lakewood,
CO 80226, 303 424-2300, www.cottonwoodconnection.com
for more info!
NEW Date* Coupling
the STAND OUT Internet Dating
the Attention You Deserve
New to Internet dating and not sure
how to get started? Been using Internet dating but not getting
the response you deserve? Join us for a look at the most common
profile mistakes and learn how to craft a profile that will
get you noticed!
Ah, the power of words...with the right
ones, you open up a world of possibilities and draw interesting,
attractive prospects. With the wrong ones, you'll send people
running for the hills even if you are Ms./Ms Wonderful. Or
worse yet, you'll be attracting the wrong type of responses.
This class will review plenty of real life examples of stand
out profiles as well as red flag alerts. Don't fall prey to
Bonuses! All participants receive a
handout to help you get started writing a terrific profile.
In addition, all who attend get a FREE Red
Flag Profile assessment- make sure your profile doesn't contain
any of the lethal errors! All participants are also entitled
to a 15% discount on future profile editing or creation services!
Introductory Cost: $15, payable by check
or credit card on Pay Pal
for more info or to register!
New Singles University Workshop Dates!
Singles University has gone national!
They now offer classes in web cast and teleclass formats for
added convenience!! Learn all you need to know to create the
love you deserve without ever leaving home!
U website for the latest dates for the
9/18 and 9/20
- How to Avoid Dating and Marrying a Jerk(ette) Part 1 and
- Attraction Traps: Reclaiming Your Love Life From the Patterns
of the Past
Sensational Singles: How to Maximize Your Happiness and Create
the Life That You Desire
"Socializing for Professionals"
Party and networking event for singles
is being held at the elegant Glenmoor Country Club from 5:30
to 9:45 on the following dates:
The second Thursday in September and
October (September 14, & October 12.)
$15.00 at the door, more info here:
Parties by Marty
Camp for Couples
Stop Walking on Eggshells! Turn Resentment,
Anger, or Emotional Abuse into
A Compassionate, Loving Relationship
Maybe you've seen Dr. Stephen Stosney
on Oprah talking about how to turn angry relationships into
loving ones. He's really onto something. Learn more about
his powerful workshops that he likens to boot camp for relationships.
OR attend a FREE teleclass TOMORROW
nite (it will be recorded so you can listen for a week!)
Learn more here: CompassionPower.com
*NEW* Couples Inventory:
Bulletproof Your Love
Whether or not your relationship is
currently in trouble, it can help to identify your love's
strengths and weaknesses. Doing this can prevent trouble down
the road by addressing small issues before they become large.
Or if things are less than ideal now, it can help you tackle
the big problems so you can bring passion, romance, and connection
back into your life.
Cost: $75 per couple, $60 during the
Summer Sizzle Special! $60 for Individual, $45 during Special.
for more info.
* Have you tried
a tip or tool from the Relation Smarts E-newsletter? We want
to hear about it!? Let us know what your experience was like.
Did it improve your connection? Or no?
Email us! *
Do you have a
topic, idea, question, or concern you'd like to have addressed
in an upcoming newsletter? Email
Know someone who could use a little RelationSmarts?
Feel free to forward the newsletter to family and friends!
May your relationships bring you the happiness you
Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D.
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