week, we'll be delivering smart and fresh relating
tips. We know you are busy, so let these quick ideas inspire
you to create your ideal relationship! Each edition will include
helpful information in these three categories:
- Dating – tips on finding and keeping the
- Mating – take the Passion Perks challenge
and perk up your love life!
- Relating – tips on making your connection
Be sure to scroll down and
check out news of note and announcements for singles and couples!
We'll be keeping you abreast of relationship happenings
you may find useful.
Does an article strike a chord
or remind you of a friend's situation? Please pass Relation
Smarts on! Everyone deserves to have more love in their life!
Remember, information is only good if you USE it. Research
shows that if you don't use a new piece of information within
two weeks, you won't ever use it! So if you want an extraordinary
relationship, try something new today!
Monthly Date Smart Coaching Call:
Discouraged?- Using the Secrets of the Law of Attraction to
Stay Positive and
Find Your Perfect Partner
October 30, 7:30pm, Mountain Time, (9:30
Learn more here: Date
To participate, call: (712) 580-0600.
Participant Access Code: 356899#
Your type? Think Again!
Something concerns me about many daters
today. They often complain that they can't meet anyone to
date, yet they are quick to rule out potential prospects based
on fast "assessment" (read initial impression) or
superficial qualities, like height, age, or appearance. Why
does this concern me? Because they just may be missing out
on the love of their life!
me share with you a little story. Many of you know that I
met my fiance on Match.com. He's my soulmate and our love
grows deeper and stronger every day. BUT- it didn't start
out that way...not immediately. When I moved to Colorado almost
two years ago and joined Match.com, I was looking to meet
friends, someone to show me around, hopefully, eventually
my soulmate. But when I wrote to Greg on Match, there wasn't
anything soulmate-y about it. Picture? Ok. Profile? Not inspiring.
Why did I write to him? Honestly? He lived really close by!
There really wasn't anything in his profile that made me think-
"He might be the one." I just thought, "I'm
not having much luck with this, but he's close by, maybe he
can share his favorite hiking and biking places."
we met. And sparks? No, not really. It was a nice enough evening,
filled with wonderful food, and plenty of conversation. I
was happy to see him again, but I wasn't really excited. He
didn't ooze fun and certainly didn't seem to reek of the qualities
I was aching for in a man. Again, there was nothing to make
me think, "Wow- he may be the one."
over the first few dates, I wasn't entirely comfortable with
him. And after kissing him a couple of times, I wasn't completely
sure that I enjoyed it! Perfection it was not.
I hung in there, and before long I was rewarded with the kind
of love I believed only existed in fairy tales. The kind of
love that makes me feel blessed to have such a special man,
every single day. The kind of love that inspires me,
amazes me, strengthens me, and makes me deeply joyful. The
type of love that can last a lifetime (plus, now I find him
completely irresistible and I can’t stop kissing him!).
Remember that your soulmate may arrive in a very different
package than you may have expected. Give everyone the benefit
of the doubt in the very beginning. Unless you have a really
good reason or have a really bad feeling after the first date,
see someone a second, third or fourth time. Give them time
to become comfortable with you, for each of you to start to
see the person underneath. You may just find the sparkling
diamond you were hoping for!
The above applies to someone when they are treating
you well- but the sparks, chemistry or that certain something
may be missing. In short, when it seems like they might just
not be "your type." That's when you should give
it some time, NOT when someone is treating you poorly. If
you need to make serious excuses for someone's behavior- then
it's time to move on.
Keep in mind that "your type" is often related to
your family background. And if you didn't have the best upbringing,
the type you may be most attracted to- won't really be the
right partner for you. In this case, you really need to work
to find potential mates, outside your type! In fact,
when you get the goose bumps from having met "your type"-
you may need be cautious and really see if this is a healthy
person for you to date.
Coupling Connection specializes
in helping you find The One, not Your Type! Email
for more info!
You Willing to Settle for Average?
Recently on the Today show, experts
noted that the average American couple has sex slightly more
than once a week. Well, ok. That sounds alright, I suppose.
BUT, less than 50% of couples are sexually satisfied in their
relationship. That means the majority of couples aren't sexually
fulfilled. So if you are among those couples who are not satisfied-
you are average. You are normal. Are you willing to settle
I don't think you should! Sex is one
of the strongest of glues that binds your relationship. Without
it, your relationship is at risk.
Passion Perks Challenge:
Talk to your partner and ask if they are satisfied with your
sexual relationship. Are they ok with the frequency of sex?
The quality? Ask them what you need to do to make your sex
life better than average!
What is Love?
In one poet's eyes,
"Love is when two people can gaze into each other's eyes
and both are looking up at the other." This quote captures
a pivotal quality for any long term love: respect. Love cannot
last long unless both partners truly admire and respect one
another. Chances are there was plenty of admiration for your
partner's strengths and qualities in the beginning of your
union. But often, as time passes and the stressors of life
get in the way, our respect can tarnish. Loss of respect can
happen in many ways. Frequently, we become more in touch with
our partner's flaws rather than what's admirable about them.
Perhaps they failed to meet some of our expectations or they
didn't handle a new role, such as parenthood, the way we imagined.
Little by little, respect can chip away until this person
who was once on a pedestal, has now fallen squarely on their
Action Step: To
strengthen your respect, get back in touch with all of the
reasons you have admired and respected your partner. Write
a list of everything you can think of. Go back to the early
days of your dating...and continue through to the present,
paying attention to both the small and momentous things. If
you need assistance, try remembering the things that happened
during pivotal times of change in your life, such as engagement,
wedding, different stages of parenthood, new homes, new jobs,
etc. Now share this list with your partner.
Relation Tip: Is
there a particular issue that is eroding your respect for
your partner? Sometimes to increase your respect for your
partner you'll need to address an ongoing problem. Bring up
the issue gently and kindly, in terms of wanting to boost
respect to protect your love. Work together on rekindling
this crucial aspect of your relationship.
Wish you could have more fun? Wish you
could keep the really important things in mind and not let
life get you down? Learn about the eight irresistible principles
of fun during this brief, but powerful, and entertaining presentation.
Don't miss this and pass it on to your friends! http://www.eightprinciples.com
Do You Tango?
You should! Tango is a relatively new
magazine devoted to "smart talk about love"- for
singles and couples. The Nov/Dec issue is chock full of GREAT,
inspiring stories about dating, love, and sex! I encourage
you to check it out at the newsstand or get your subscription!!
Learn more here: http://www.tangomag.com/
us This Tuesday!
Co-Ed Savvy Singles Book Club!
at Peaberry Coffee, Cherry Creek, 2nd and St. Paul
How To Avoid Marrying A Jerk(ette)
don't even need to read the book! To join or learn more visit:
some inspiration to invigorate an ordinary sex life? Try the
new DVD: Kama Sutra in3D. Learn about 50 positions. Try something
new and reignite passion and play in the bedroom!! www.KamaSutraIn3D.com
Bulletproof Your Love
Whether or not your relationship is
currently in trouble, it can help to identify your love's
strengths and weaknesses. Doing this can prevent trouble down
the road by addressing small issues before they become large.
Or if things are less than ideal now, it can help you tackle
the big problems so you can bring passion, romance, and connection
back into your life. Cost: $75 per couple,
$60 for Individual
for more info.
* Have you tried
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May your relationships bring you the happiness you
Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D.
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