week, we'll be delivering smart and fresh relating
tips. We know you are busy, so let these quick ideas inspire
you to create your ideal relationship! Each edition will include
helpful information in these three categories:
- Dating – tips on finding and keeping the
- Mating – take the Passion Perks challenge
and perk up your love life!
- Relating – tips on making your connection
Be sure to scroll down and
check out news of note and announcements for singles and couples!
We'll be keeping you abreast of relationship happenings
you may find useful.
SINGLES! Lots of new exciting
opportunities for upcoming programs and events! Don't Miss
out!! See below for details...
Does an article strike a chord
or remind you of a friend's situation? Please pass Relation
Smarts on! Everyone deserves to have more love in their life!
Remember, information is only good if you USE it. Research
shows that if you don't use a new piece of information within
two weeks, you won't ever use it! So if you want an extraordinary
relationship, try something new today!
Monthly Date Smart Coaching Call:
Discouraged?- Using the Secrets of the Law of Attraction to
Stay Positive and
Find Your Perfect Partner
October 30, 7:30pm, Mountain Time, (9:30
Learn more here and the get phone number
to join us: Date
Your Old Habits Only in Hibernation?
Everybody knows that old habits die hard, right?
Well, sort of. The reality is that most habits only hibernate.
That is, we do some work on them, develop a new behavior,
and the old habit goes on the back burner. Gone, but not forgotten.
The unfortunate news is that under times of stress, fatigue,
or emotional dips, those old habits have a, um, habit of creeping
back in, sometimes without our awareness. So, something we
believe we "worked through" and conquered, may one
day be staring us right back in the face.
This is true for any pattern of behavior,
whether it's smoking, overeating, or making less than stellar
dating decisions. What makes dating habits even more tricky
is that often while we are single and working on ourselves,
it seems that our issues are getting better, that they have
less control over us. But, often when we start dating again-
Bam! There's that issue popping up all over the place. That's
because dating is an emotional mine field- and we've all developed
patterns of behaviors to help us navigate the dangers. When
we feel vulnerable, as often occurs when getting to know someone
new, we're apt to resort to old behaviors rather than the
new ones we've been working hard to embrace.
Action Step: So, what's
the solution? Be aware that dating can trigger old patterns.
Keep your eye out, but don't beat yourself up if you find
yourself falling into some of the same old traps that you
thought you had fixed. Turn to a friend or other support to
help you keep an objective view and get back on track. Over
time, the new behaviors will become easier and happen more
naturally. Hibernation will last longer and longer!
Coupling Connection specializes
in helping you kick the habit of hurtful love. Email
for more info!
Ten Secret Health Benefits of Sex!
Not only does sex
feel good and strengthen your relationship- it comes with
added health benefits thanks to the variety of chemicals and
hormones that are released during lovemaking. If you needed
more incentive to get it going on...here you go!
1. It helps you live longer.
2. It strengthens your heart.
3. It reduces stress and depression.
4. It strengths bones and muscles.
5. It improves memory, keeping
6. Helps you look younger.
7. Improves your sense of smell.
8. It provides pain relief.
9. It may reduce risk of prostrate
10. It boosts the immune system!
Passion Perks Challenge:
When was the last time something that felt so good- was actually
SO good for you? So go on, make the time for it, you'll be
happier and healthier!
Relation Tip: Learn
more about these tidbits in the book The Ultimate Sex Diet
by Kerry McCloskey at www.lovediet.com.
Teamwork: The Crucial Key For
In the beginning of your relationship, "we'ness"
probably ran rampant. We this, we that. No doubt, you felt
connected and functioned as a team- each supporting the other.
In fact, that's happy couples biggest secret- they maintain
Team morale long after the glow fades. Problem is, once daily
life gets in the way, it's easy to end up on opposite teams-
blaming each other and feeling like you're working toward
different goals- rather than working together.
So what's the key to rediscovering Teamwork? Take
a hint from your favorite sports team to remind yourself of
Name and Mascot: How
do you know someone's a Bronco's fan? It's easy- they wear
Bronco's colors, display their emblems, and cheer Go Bronco's!
Well- your team is no different. You need a way to reinforce
your we'ness and show yourselves, if not the world, that you
are behind each other 100%. So be creative ...decide what
your team stands for and have a name or idea that evokes that
for you. Or, have a ritual that signifies your we-ness. Be
unique and let your imaginations run wild. The exercise itself
will bring your closer together- now and in the future.
Purpose: Every team
has a purpose and successful teams never lose sight of the
main goal. While you and your partner's purpose may not be
to score as many touchdowns as possible- your union does serve
an important purpose. And every couple is different. Sit down
and remind yourselves: what is your biggest purpose? Why are
Meeting: Find a way
to keep that purpose front and center- for sports teams, they
have meetings. How else would they keep in touch, check progress
on their goals, and plan their next moves to stay on track?
Your team should have regular meetings too! Once a week or
at least once a month, schedule a couple or family meeting
to address your progress toward key goals and keep communication
Leadership: Every successful
team has wise leaders guiding the way. In this case- you both
need to be leaders- ones who know how to compromise. It's
important that each member of the couple is allowed to lead
in the areas where you are strong. Power needs to be shared
and rotated. If you end up with too many power struggles-
your team will lose.
Practice: No Team wins
without practicing essential skills. Relationships are no
different! If you are weak in important relationship skills-
you're team is going to flounder. It takes a lifetime to learn
excellent communication, conflict resolution, sharing, intimacy,
cooperation, etc skills. Keep sharpening your repertoire!
Coaching: Lastly, no
one is successful alone. Even top competitors in all fields
make use of coaches- you simply need an objective view sometimes.
So, read relationship books, make use of online information
sources, or when needed, seek outside assistance.
Action Step: What's your teamwork
level? Feeling like you are on opposing sides of a losing
argument? Than it's time to boost your team work skills! Review
the above factors and decide which aspects of teamwork your
team needs to focus on to start winning again!
Relation Tip: Coupling Connection
can help you and your partner stay on the same winning team
for a lifetime! Email
for more info!
us This Week! October
Co-Ed Savvy Singles Book Club!
due to snow last week
at Peaberry Coffee, Cherry Creek, 2nd and St. Paul
Falling in Love For All the Right Reasons (by E-Harmony founder)
don't even need to read the book! To join or learn more visit:
Reason to Pay Attention to Your Relationship
doesn't want to look and feel younger? A happy marriage can
make you seem two years younger, according to a new study!
Bulletproof Your Love
Whether or not your relationship is
currently in trouble, it can help to identify your love's
strengths and weaknesses. Doing this can prevent trouble down
the road by addressing small issues before they become large.
Or if things are less than ideal now, it can help you tackle
the big problems so you can bring passion, romance, and connection
back into your life. Cost: $75 per couple,
$60 for Individual
for more info.
* Have you tried
a tip or tool from the Relation Smarts E-newsletter? We want
to hear about it!? Let us know what your experience was like.
Did it improve your connection? Or no?
Email us! *
Do you have a
topic, idea, question, or concern you'd like to have addressed
in an upcoming newsletter? Email
Know someone who could use a little RelationSmarts?
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May your relationships bring you the happiness you
Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D.
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