These days Internet dating is huge. If you’re
serious about finding The One and are NOT using internet dating,
you’re missing out on one of the most powerful ways
to meet potential mates. But as with everything, there is
a right and a wrong way to create an outstanding profile.
With a great profile, you open up a world of possibilities
and draw interesting, attractive prospects. With the wrong
one, you'll send people running for the hills even if you
really are Ms. or Mr. Wonderful. Or worse yet, you'll be attracting
the wrong type of responses.
Unfortunately, in a vast sea of profiles, making
one blunder can mean the difference between no dates and lots
of dates! So whether you’re new to Internet dating and
not sure how to get started or you’ve been online but
aren’t getting the response you deserve, read on to
learn the most common profile mistakes. Armed with this information,
you can craft a profile that will get you noticed!
Number One: Internet Dating is For Losers
Although Internet dating is for smart people ready for action
towards a goal, you’d be surprised how many people start
their profile off with something like, “I can’t
believe it’s come to this.” Believe me, that gives
readers the wrong vibe about what kind of person you are.
You’re implying that there must be something wrong with
you if you’re using Internet dating. Worse, it also
suggests that there’s something wrong with the person
reading your profile if they’ve had to “stoop”
to finding love online. You’re trying to draw people
in, not insult them! Therefore, mom’s old adage applies
“If you don’t have something good to say, don’t
say anything at all.”
Number Two: Yeah, But Who Are YOU?
Although brevity is supposed to be the soul of wit, when it
comes to your profile, being too succinct is a problem. After
all, you’re supposed to create some interest, spark
some intrigue. Without giving your reader something to react
to, something to be drawn to, they will just click on to the
next. While, it’s true that people have short attention
spans on line- you do want to leave an impression that you’re
someone with something interesting to say.
Number Three: 101 Traits of the Perfect Partner
On the other hand, writing a book is equally problematic.
Long-winded profiles usually go into excruciating detail about
the kind of qualities you’re seeking in your ideal partner.
Remember what they say about giving yourself a long rope?…It’s
often enough to hang yourself with. If you give a laundry
list of specifics about who you’re looking for, you’ll
scare off too many potentially great partners who will fear
that they don’t match enough of your stringent requirements.
By being more moderate, you’ll draw more people in.
This is what you want- getting as many initial replies as
you can gives YOU the power to explore more prospective mates.
You never can be sure what package your soul mate will arrive
Mistake Number Four: Obviously
Here’s a test: what’s your first reaction when
you read- “No players or head games.” I’ll
tell you what it’s not: “Oh great, I can’t
wait to meet this jaded, cynical person who is expecting the
worst.” I hate to say it, but women are more often guilty
of this than men. Sure, life can be rough and dating can be
even rougher, but no one is attracted to negative, pessimistic
people who appear to have baggage. Leave your baggage at the
Number Five: Describing What You Do, Not Who You Are
Often people make the error of describing only the activities
that they engage in. It’s great if you can find a partner
who enjoys the same interests as you, but what makes people
fall in love is WHO you are, not what you do. So try to describe
the kind of person you are. But avoid the other common trap
of listing 12 adjectives that describe your personality. Sure,
that gives a tiny glimpse into who you might be. But more
enlightening (and entertaining) would be a story or short
description that explains how you embody a particular characteristic.
Number Six: Cloning Gone Awry
It’s not uncommon to walk away from a profile thinking,
“Great- they like to eat, watch movies, and cuddle…like
everyone else on the planet.” Problem is- your reader
still doesn’t know why you’re unique- why they
should bother to contact you! In Colorado, that problem is
even more widespread since so many people describe themselves
as outdoorsy lovers of hiking, biking, skiing, etc. To stand
out- you’ve got to let your unique self shine through!
What makes you different from others? What are you passionate
Number Seven: Neurotic R’ Us
Watch out for sounding desperate, neurotic, insecure, arrogant,
or selfish. These are what I call the big red flags- write
something that falls into one of these categories and you
can guarantee that readers will be offended. Talking about
how lonely you are, acting like everyone you meet is below
you, or sounding like you need someone to save you spells
trouble. So whatever you do- avoid including any red flag
statements in your profile. Sometimes it’s a topic,
sometimes it’s a tone. You can get away with some mistakes,
but this isn’t one of them! Have a friend proof read
your ad before posting it- just to make sure!
Number Eight: Kiddie Take Over
Many people are single after a divorce and have kids. That’s
life and there’s nothing wrong with it. Your kids are
important to you, so go ahead and mention them in your ad.
Even show a picture of them- but do not make the mistake of
sounding like your children have completely taken over your
life. If it seems like your role as mom or dad is all you
have time for, potential suitors will think there’s
no room in your life for them!
Number Nine: No Smiling Faces
Picture selection is key. First off- you have to put up a
picture! Profiles with pics receive so many more responses,
that it’s almost not worth posting a profile without
one- no matter what you look like! So don’t be shy.
But you’d be surprised how many people post unbecoming
pics- with the most common mistake being not showing off your
smile! Your primary picture is your first chance to make a
positive impression- and often your last- so make sure you
look happy, open, friendly and fun!
Number Ten: Mirror, Mirror On The Wall
Nothing says louder, “I have a big ego” then posting
8, 12, 14 pictures of yourself! Having several is great! You
need a good head shot, a flattering body pose, and then maybe
a fun one of you doing something you enjoy. Since people often
look remarkably different in various photos, having several
pictures decreases the likelihood that your date will be unpleasantly
surprised upon meeting. However, posting too many pics sends
a negative message. Stick with a max of 5 great shots.
By avoiding the top
ten profile mistakes, you’ll do a lot to get the attention
you deserve! However, this is just the tip of the iceberg.
If you’d like to learn more about successful online
dating, check out our Attractor Factor Internet Dating Coaching
Your Soulmate is
to get started today!